It’s been a week or so since I wrote anything on The Minimal List but I’ve been a bit distracted sorting my identity out. Now this post may seem like one for the ladies, and only those with children too, but actually I imagine lots of people reach a point in their life when a new definition seems in order. For me the time has come now I’m getting a little time back to launch myself into work. I made the decision to be a “stay at home” mum (though why it’s called that I have no idea – I seem to be at home so rarely!), when my first daughter was born, although I always knew I would be. I have written before about my re-introduction to all things technical but actually the return to work, or at least thinking about it, has been more complicated. It has come down to defining, or maybe re-defining who I am. Right now, if you were to ask me what I do I would actually struggle to answer.
Nearly all my female friends have changed direction, some quite dramatically, since having children. They have found that their pre-baby life just doesn’t work any more. The very idea of disappearing to an office five days a week is totally un-manageable. Some have developed their own businesses, one became a baby masseur, one is considering starting child-minding, another has just decided not to work at all for now. Others have taken part-time work, anything really, that fits with school and childcare. It doesn’t matter if it’s totally below their skill level. In many cases it’s just something “for now”.
I don’t want something temporary though. For me, this has become an opportunity to get back to basics and think about what I really want from the rest of my life. For the past 15 years I have worked for arts organisations of one kind or another. I have done admin, management, project development, fundraising and recruitment. Since running our own creative consultancy I have worked in lots of other people’s organisations too. And as much as I’ve enjoyed it I’ve realised that I don’t want the same things any more. It isn’t that I just want something that fits around my children. I want something inherently different for me.
It’s taken a long time to come to any conclusion. I have thought about lots of different things I could do. It has taken a lot of searching and many ideas have seemed right for a while until I imagined myself doing that thing every day. Finally, the nagging thing, the thing I have been trying to push aside for lack of practicality or security has finally made it to the number one spot. What I have found I miss is doing my own creative work and the sense of fulfillment it gives me. I did go to art school a very long time ago but over time my own practice has just disappeared. I dug out some old sketchbooks recently and was hit by memories of visits to exhibitions and galleries. Time spent drawing, developing ideas. And I felt such a rush of excitement I just knew I had found my calling again.
A trip to London took me to the V&A, where I spent a whole morning looking and drawing. I came away filled with ideas but I got home and dithered about for a few weeks until Simon said “look, just DO something!”. So I went on ebay and bought myself a table, ordered some printing inks and set myself up a small corner of the office as a studio. And there it waits, until tomorrow, when I start my new life. I have no idea if I’m still any good. I have no idea if anyone will be interested in what I’m making. But I have to give it a try. I hope that at some point in the not-too-distant future someone will ask me what I do and I will confidently be able to reply.
Bravo to you! I have been feeling something along those same lines lately, even though my career is quite creative (graphic design) I just feel like I have been limiting myself instead of embracing the freedoms I have. Right now in my life I am mid-twenties, single, childless, renting instead of owning, and finally earning enough money to begin saving for future plans…and I am entirely restless. I think the winds of change are starting to blow again and I need to be brave enough to let myself go with it.
theminimallist
Thank you! Do be brave and go for it while you have so much freedom. Believe me making these changes with a mortgage and kids is possibly the worst time. Then again, they are also the reason I'm doing it!
http://www.support-real-life.de/ Bastian
Congratulations for making a decision. Whatever it is, I heave learned it's better to finally DO something, as Simon said, than to waste time thinking.
carl
Good luck! Your thoughts were very inspiring to read. (me myself: I'm a mid-thirties teacher who just wants make music, but it's really difficult and I spend a lot of time thinking of all kinds of “life-changing decisions”.) Thanks for a great blog!
http://ChrisBaskind.com Chris Baskind
Both this site and your life are vital and evolving. Good things. Here's to adventure!
http://ChrisBaskind.com Chris Baskind
Both this site and your life are vital and evolving. Good things. Here's to adventure!
Identity
It’s been a week or so since I wrote anything on The Minimal List but I’ve been a bit distracted sorting my identity out. Now this post may seem like one for the ladies, and only those with children too, but actually I imagine lots of people reach a point in their life when a new definition seems in order. For me the time has come now I’m getting a little time back to launch myself into work. I made the decision to be a “stay at home” mum (though why it’s called that I have no idea – I seem to be at home so rarely!), when my first daughter was born, although I always knew I would be. I have written before about my re-introduction to all things technical but actually the return to work, or at least thinking about it, has been more complicated. It has come down to defining, or maybe re-defining who I am. Right now, if you were to ask me what I do I would actually struggle to answer.
Nearly all my female friends have changed direction, some quite dramatically, since having children. They have found that their pre-baby life just doesn’t work any more. The very idea of disappearing to an office five days a week is totally un-manageable. Some have developed their own businesses, one became a baby masseur, one is considering starting child-minding, another has just decided not to work at all for now. Others have taken part-time work, anything really, that fits with school and childcare. It doesn’t matter if it’s totally below their skill level. In many cases it’s just something “for now”.
I don’t want something temporary though. For me, this has become an opportunity to get back to basics and think about what I really want from the rest of my life. For the past 15 years I have worked for arts organisations of one kind or another. I have done admin, management, project development, fundraising and recruitment. Since running our own creative consultancy I have worked in lots of other people’s organisations too. And as much as I’ve enjoyed it I’ve realised that I don’t want the same things any more. It isn’t that I just want something that fits around my children. I want something inherently different for me.
It’s taken a long time to come to any conclusion. I have thought about lots of different things I could do. It has taken a lot of searching and many ideas have seemed right for a while until I imagined myself doing that thing every day. Finally, the nagging thing, the thing I have been trying to push aside for lack of practicality or security has finally made it to the number one spot. What I have found I miss is doing my own creative work and the sense of fulfillment it gives me. I did go to art school a very long time ago but over time my own practice has just disappeared. I dug out some old sketchbooks recently and was hit by memories of visits to exhibitions and galleries. Time spent drawing, developing ideas. And I felt such a rush of excitement I just knew I had found my calling again.
A trip to London took me to the V&A, where I spent a whole morning looking and drawing. I came away filled with ideas but I got home and dithered about for a few weeks until Simon said “look, just DO something!”. So I went on ebay and bought myself a table, ordered some printing inks and set myself up a small corner of the office as a studio. And there it waits, until tomorrow, when I start my new life. I have no idea if I’m still any good. I have no idea if anyone will be interested in what I’m making. But I have to give it a try. I hope that at some point in the not-too-distant future someone will ask me what I do and I will confidently be able to reply.