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My four year old daughter told me that I don’t like the stuff she likes. I asked her what she meant. She replied that I won’t let her have all the stuff she sees in the shops that she likes and therefore she thinks I don’t like it. I start off on some rambling explanation about stuff and waste and appreciating things and excess. She gives me a blank look. I try again. This time I go for the “where would we put it all” tack. She doesn’t think being buried under a ton of her own pink, princess crap would be a problem. I agree. If I was four years old I wouldn’t think this was a problem either.

So where do I go from here? I have to say the “where would we put it” argument was lame. It certainly isn’t the reason I don’t buy her everything she sees that she likes and I don’t want her to think that. If we lived in a huge mansion I wouldn’t buy her everything. It isn’t about money either. If we had all the money in the world I still wouldn’t buy her everything. So how do I explain it without just sounding plain old mean.

Here’s what I tried and the conversation that followed….

Well, do you remember your birthday?
Yes, I got loads of presents
Can you tell me what you got?
Um, some toys and games.
I mean, exactly, tell me exactly what you got?
I can’t remember.
Well, maybe that’s because you got so many presents.
I did.
Do you think if you had got just one, very special present (and I don’t mean one that cost a lot or was really big, just something you really, really wanted), you would have remembered?
Yes.
So, if I bought you all the things you see in the shops that you like, would it be special or would you just forget about them?
I’d forget.
Would it be better to just have a few special things that you really, really like and really use?
That would be good.

Did I manipulate that? Of course. Did she get it? I hope so. At least she hasn’t asked for a load of plastic crap since and believe me, there seems to be plastic crap everywhere we look.

It’s hard to teach our kids about restraint. That’s not to say our kids miss out. Every day I seem to have to excavate our house out from under all the stuff they’ve been playing with. But we can at least go out without being nagged to buy things. They enjoy looking but not needing to take it with us. How long can this continue? Who knows. School is just around the corner, peer pressure, pocket money. There may be trouble ahead….